I was emotional reading this. I’m a long way away (I hope) from retirement but this is describing something I already recognize in myself. It took me a while to recognize it for what it was and try to correct it. I worry what would happen to my nervous system if/when I actually do stop one day. Maybe I just won’t.
Great and familiar piece, Kevin. For any journalists approaching this stage, I highly recommend finding an intermediate job that keeps you busy and connected but allows the weaning to begin. (Don't get me wrong, I'm still hooked, just not like I was when I was in the daily trenches.)
Nine years, found an very busy substitute for a spell, and still not fully weaned.
This line hit home:
“The cortisol arrives but nothing gets explained, nothing gets resolved, and nobody is served. You just absorb the frequency of alarm without the discipline that once made alarm useful.”
"Nothing gets explained, nothing gets resolved, and nobody is served." Many of our current journalists won't find the transition as difficult as you are finding it. Good luck!
Thanks for an awesome description of the transitional experience of retirement. Shared by so many in so many fields in addition to journalism.
I believe it’s in man’s nature to be either a hunter or a gatherer. And when your hunt ends, your remaining contribution to the tribe is to pass on your wisdom to younger members.
Thanks for writing this Kevin, and to Matt for sharing it on... I'm so thankful I'm still in it, but know the window is closing (I'm 37 years in the business now) even though I feel I've got a lot of gas left in the tank. The adrenaline hit is real, but I also fear the cumulative physiological and mental impacts of a lifetime in news. The velocity of nonsense nowadays just amplifies it. Wishing you both (and all retiring journalists) peace and tranquility in the after-time. Chris Gailus
Thanks Chris. It takes special people to work as a professional in journalism. It's made more difficult now from what you wrote "The velocity of nonsense nowadays just amplifies it."
Thanks for this Kevin. There is a reason that the military has a Transition Centre and you just described it very well. It hadn’t occurred to me that many civilian careers have the same problems and should have access to the benefits of a Transition Centre. Hang in there, you fully grasp the problem and that is a big hurdle cleared.
I'm one such civilian who suffered from PTSD via vicarious trauma. It was largely unrecognized when I was in the worst of it, but luckily, hopefully, too slowly, that is changing. It strikes me, more and more, just how many careers hold this risk - damage from being witness to the horrors others experience. Seems our nervous systems need as much care an attention as our brains, muscles, and other vital organs. Who'd of thunk.
I've been out of the newsroom (off the assignment desk) for almost 40 years. And this is the finest description/explanation of the experience - during and after - that I've ever encountered. Thank you for helping me to understand.
Yes, yes, yes. My experience was not a journalistic one but it had its own pressure, rhythm and consequences. I missed it when it suddenly wasn't there. This is why retirement without a project can be dangerous.
Some readers may view this as simply a 'media industry insider column', but I actually think Kevin's thoughtful and deeply personal writing here is relevant beyond the media sphere.
Journalism may be a special case due to how public-facing it is, and Kevin has described the situation very well from his unique perspective. Certainly a tough challenge, but one that I'd say is felt by those leaving or already departed from many other industries to some degree.
Speaking from my personal perspective as someone in a field outside journalism, I think for many of us approaching the end of our active careers, especially those of us fortunate/blessed enough to have spent most of it viewed and respected by colleagues as a leader/go-to person in an industry, the twilight of that career when that leadership role diminishes or ends can also be a real challenge. I can only imagine that when one finally makes the call to retire from 'active service', that those of us in industries outside journalism also suffer some of the withdrawl from active participation that the end of one's role in it experience, similar to what Kevin describes.
To encourage Kevin and other journalists - the secret from happy retirees seems to be to plunge oneself into a new vocation or calling (not a new career), and the happiest of that subgroup would appear to be those who choose some type of service to their community, generally outside of their former workplace/industry community.
Looking back over the work of Kevin's that I'm familiar with, I think he did his best in a very flawed industry environment to remain faithful to journalistic standards and ideals, many of which have further eroded since his departure. My hope for Kevin is that he finds that new calling or vocation, hopefully helping with things that will renew his soul and its new purpose.
I remember pitching a story about your overnight ABC newscast with Thalia Assuras to Saturday Night, the magazine that I wrote for at the time (~35 years ago). Wish my editors had bitten on it--I was headed to NYC for a story on Dick Pound and the IOC. I just wonder if somehow the physical and emotional tests of those early days build resolve and will and light fires that just never go out. I got a bit of a late start in the biz and was out of it for a couple of years coming out of j-school and a couple of more when snagged in budget cuts. I scrambled back out of semi-retirement to work for a paper in the small burgh I moved to--a cub reporter in my dotage. Just the doing of it, no matter what the scale, has its rich rewards. I don't want to ever be out--waters where I swam i'm now content to wade.
Maybe it should be called tales of an adrenaline junkie? I too am about to retire from a high stress job.Tribal work environment. I’m going to miss the privileged access I have. The camaraderie of the few. The feeling of really being dialled in on a task. Hopefully I can find something to replace that feeling.
Thank you so much for this extraordinary act of generosity. It will be so meaningful to so many.
I retired from medical practice in 2018--as I said at the time, one year before I intended to and one year after I should have. It's stunning that we give so much to young people in terms of career planning and mentorship, only to leave us stranded upon leaving. My hope is that contributions such as yours here will inspire some professional response to begin.
There is a certain relief that comes from leaving the full-time journalism biz, even if not by choice in an era of mass layoffs. Such as, for example, not having to cover the Lapu Lapu massacre and talk to traumatized witnesses, which I might've had to do if still employed at the now-defunct Vancouver Courier.
I was emotional reading this. I’m a long way away (I hope) from retirement but this is describing something I already recognize in myself. It took me a while to recognize it for what it was and try to correct it. I worry what would happen to my nervous system if/when I actually do stop one day. Maybe I just won’t.
Great and familiar piece, Kevin. For any journalists approaching this stage, I highly recommend finding an intermediate job that keeps you busy and connected but allows the weaning to begin. (Don't get me wrong, I'm still hooked, just not like I was when I was in the daily trenches.)
Nine years, found an very busy substitute for a spell, and still not fully weaned.
This line hit home:
“The cortisol arrives but nothing gets explained, nothing gets resolved, and nobody is served. You just absorb the frequency of alarm without the discipline that once made alarm useful.”
"Nothing gets explained, nothing gets resolved, and nobody is served." Many of our current journalists won't find the transition as difficult as you are finding it. Good luck!
What a tremendous piece, beautifully written.
Thanks for an awesome description of the transitional experience of retirement. Shared by so many in so many fields in addition to journalism.
I believe it’s in man’s nature to be either a hunter or a gatherer. And when your hunt ends, your remaining contribution to the tribe is to pass on your wisdom to younger members.
Thanks for writing this Kevin, and to Matt for sharing it on... I'm so thankful I'm still in it, but know the window is closing (I'm 37 years in the business now) even though I feel I've got a lot of gas left in the tank. The adrenaline hit is real, but I also fear the cumulative physiological and mental impacts of a lifetime in news. The velocity of nonsense nowadays just amplifies it. Wishing you both (and all retiring journalists) peace and tranquility in the after-time. Chris Gailus
Thanks Chris. It takes special people to work as a professional in journalism. It's made more difficult now from what you wrote "The velocity of nonsense nowadays just amplifies it."
Thanks for this Kevin. There is a reason that the military has a Transition Centre and you just described it very well. It hadn’t occurred to me that many civilian careers have the same problems and should have access to the benefits of a Transition Centre. Hang in there, you fully grasp the problem and that is a big hurdle cleared.
I'm one such civilian who suffered from PTSD via vicarious trauma. It was largely unrecognized when I was in the worst of it, but luckily, hopefully, too slowly, that is changing. It strikes me, more and more, just how many careers hold this risk - damage from being witness to the horrors others experience. Seems our nervous systems need as much care an attention as our brains, muscles, and other vital organs. Who'd of thunk.
Similarly for we who retired from 40+ years as police officers. Thank you, Kevin.
I've been out of the newsroom (off the assignment desk) for almost 40 years. And this is the finest description/explanation of the experience - during and after - that I've ever encountered. Thank you for helping me to understand.
Yes, yes, yes. My experience was not a journalistic one but it had its own pressure, rhythm and consequences. I missed it when it suddenly wasn't there. This is why retirement without a project can be dangerous.
A great piece. Yes well written. Kevin was part of everyone's nightly news check in for many for many years
Some readers may view this as simply a 'media industry insider column', but I actually think Kevin's thoughtful and deeply personal writing here is relevant beyond the media sphere.
Journalism may be a special case due to how public-facing it is, and Kevin has described the situation very well from his unique perspective. Certainly a tough challenge, but one that I'd say is felt by those leaving or already departed from many other industries to some degree.
Speaking from my personal perspective as someone in a field outside journalism, I think for many of us approaching the end of our active careers, especially those of us fortunate/blessed enough to have spent most of it viewed and respected by colleagues as a leader/go-to person in an industry, the twilight of that career when that leadership role diminishes or ends can also be a real challenge. I can only imagine that when one finally makes the call to retire from 'active service', that those of us in industries outside journalism also suffer some of the withdrawl from active participation that the end of one's role in it experience, similar to what Kevin describes.
To encourage Kevin and other journalists - the secret from happy retirees seems to be to plunge oneself into a new vocation or calling (not a new career), and the happiest of that subgroup would appear to be those who choose some type of service to their community, generally outside of their former workplace/industry community.
Looking back over the work of Kevin's that I'm familiar with, I think he did his best in a very flawed industry environment to remain faithful to journalistic standards and ideals, many of which have further eroded since his departure. My hope for Kevin is that he finds that new calling or vocation, hopefully helping with things that will renew his soul and its new purpose.
I remember pitching a story about your overnight ABC newscast with Thalia Assuras to Saturday Night, the magazine that I wrote for at the time (~35 years ago). Wish my editors had bitten on it--I was headed to NYC for a story on Dick Pound and the IOC. I just wonder if somehow the physical and emotional tests of those early days build resolve and will and light fires that just never go out. I got a bit of a late start in the biz and was out of it for a couple of years coming out of j-school and a couple of more when snagged in budget cuts. I scrambled back out of semi-retirement to work for a paper in the small burgh I moved to--a cub reporter in my dotage. Just the doing of it, no matter what the scale, has its rich rewards. I don't want to ever be out--waters where I swam i'm now content to wade.
Maybe it should be called tales of an adrenaline junkie? I too am about to retire from a high stress job.Tribal work environment. I’m going to miss the privileged access I have. The camaraderie of the few. The feeling of really being dialled in on a task. Hopefully I can find something to replace that feeling.
Thank you so much for this extraordinary act of generosity. It will be so meaningful to so many.
I retired from medical practice in 2018--as I said at the time, one year before I intended to and one year after I should have. It's stunning that we give so much to young people in terms of career planning and mentorship, only to leave us stranded upon leaving. My hope is that contributions such as yours here will inspire some professional response to begin.
There is a certain relief that comes from leaving the full-time journalism biz, even if not by choice in an era of mass layoffs. Such as, for example, not having to cover the Lapu Lapu massacre and talk to traumatized witnesses, which I might've had to do if still employed at the now-defunct Vancouver Courier.
This was fantastic. As a very recent retiree (from a different but also stressful, adrenaline-fueled profession) this rings so true.