Laura Mitchell: Expecting a happy Halloween

Every till was rocking and the Halloween aisle — or at least what was left of it — was a glorious shit show of manic Halloween consumption.

I never would have thought an elderly lady buying suckers at the Dollar Store would reduce me to tears, but we are living in an interesting time.

I went on a trip yesterday to several local stores to audit how people are feeling about Halloween — if there was still an abundance of candy on the shelves, it would be a sign that despite assertions from Alberta’s Chief Medical Officer Deena Hinshaw that trick or treating could be carried out safely, people would be succumbing to fear. The Prime Minister isn’t allowing his kids to trick or treat — would the Canadians he leads follow suit?

Nope.

The first stop, Sobey’s in Millrise, was almost sold out. A dozen boxes of plain chips were tossed in front of one shelf with the remaining candy dregs — Tootsie Rolls, Twizzlers and gum. All the chocolate was gone. I did a loop to see if there was a hidden stash back by the dairy — nope. Just the one shelf. And this was a three days out from Go Time.

On to Shopper’s Drug Mart next door. Selection was better, but all large boxes of chocolate bars were long gone. There was a line up for both self check outs and regular tills extending into the isles (socially distanced!). Moms carried armloads of Cadbury and Sour Patch Kids. This was at eleven am on a Thursday.

It was Dollarama Midnapore where the real magic happened.

Every till was rocking and the Halloween aisle — or at least what was left of it — was a glorious shit show of manic Halloween consumption.

One customer stuck out to me — a tiny, hunched over elderly lady with two bags of suckers in her cart.

Everyone who has trick or treated in Canada knows who this woman is — the quiet, widow you see only on Halloween when you knock on her door and she opens it, exclaims your costumes are lovely or pretends to be scared of your serial killer mask and puts one sucker in your pillowcase. Sometimes she makes you sing for it. Or do a little dance. She takes her sucker very seriously and she expects you to earn it.

Watching her buy her suckers while wearing her own mask stopped me in my tracks. Upon reflection I now see it for what it was — a perfect example of quiet Canadian defiance. No one is going to protest in the streets of my neighbourhood to ensure Halloween is a go. We’re….just going to do it. There are lots of heroes in the story of 2020, and the Dollarama Sucker Lady is now one of mine. If you or your kids wind up at her door, give her a smile. In another lifetime I would have hugged her on the spot.

When I was 20 I hosted a party at my parents house while they were travelling. A lot of people were invited. My best friend and I sat at the kitchen table a few hours out and she remarked “Either everyone is going to come or no one. There will be no in between”

Everyone came. It was a rocker.

I’m increasingly getting the feeling that Halloween in Alberta is going to be like my party — everyone is going to come and everyone is going to have a great time. The damage will be minimal and your friends will help clean up. Everyone will remember it for years.

Halloween 2020 in Calgary is going to be a perfect example of quiet Canadian defiance. We are going to send our kids out into the chilly October night under a full moon and let them be normal for a couple hours. No, there won’t be pub crawls and raves and rocking house parties. But that was never what Halloween was about, anyways. Halloween is about throwing your doors open to your neighbours and trusting them not to poison your kids. No one has ever died from trick or treating and I suspect that statistic won’t change in 2020.

If the Dollarama Sucker Lady is still handing out her suckers, so should we. And if she asks you to do a little dance, dance.

And remember to say Thank You.

---

The Line is Canada’s last, best hope for irreverent commentary. We reject bullshit. We love lively writing. Please consider supporting us by subscribing. Follow us on Twitter @the_lineca. Fight with us on Facebook. Pitch us something: lineeditor@protonmail.com