I don't care if there are very young kids in a restaurant. The only thing I mind is when a small child is screaming, yelling and jumping up and down on the furniture - and the parents pretend nothing is happening. That tends to ruin dinner for everyone in the vicinity of that family. Otherwise, it's a good thing to bring kids to a restaurant - part of the exercise in teaching good manners.
Last year, my partner and I were out for a very special anniversary dinner at a nice restaurant in Annecy, France. We were a bit shocked to be seated next to a young-ish couple with both a 3-year-old and a small dog. My first N. American reaction was a bit of an eye roll, like 'what are we in for?' However. The dog didn't bark, was better groomed that us, and was given a lovely water bowl by the waiter. The 3-year-old was quietly playing at his seat, while the parents ate and drank respectable amounts of alcohol. When the 3-year-old did start to fuss at about 9:30pm, his dad basically told him en français 'we're in a restaurant so behave'--and he mostly did. At that point, our sympathies were more with the kid! Like, isn't it bath and bedtime maybe, and it's totally legit he's fussy? But the whole experience was refreshing. Kids and dogs allowed, but the social understanding is that everyone knows how to behave so we can all enjoy ourselves.
And yeah, sometimes babies cry. I've been on planes or next to people in restaurants where my impulse was to volunteer my arms and entertainment skills for a while, so the parents can get a break. But that too seems to be frowned on in N. America.
Not rocket science - this is a parenting issue, not a children issue. Everyone loves children, but disruptive children are a by product of poor parenting strategies. Yes, children will misbehave, babies will cry & scream in public places - everyone understands that. Parents without proper strategies to deal with these unfortunate events are the issue. Sometimes, it means a parent has to sacrifice their own enjoyment to protect others from having their experience ruined. Oh...wait a minute.....millennials are the ones having kids these days - say no more.
Always been the case - nothing new. I'm a "boomer" and don't get offended when someone makes a negative blanket observation about boomers - sadly, they're usually correct. My kids are millennials, and they don't get offended either. They were properly parented. I guess I was too. LOL.
> Yes, children will misbehave, babies will cry & scream in public places - everyone understands that.
It is my experience that a great many people do NOT understand that.
> Sometimes, it means a parent has to sacrifice their own enjoyment to protect others from having their experience ruined.
That's a position you can take... but remember... when society makes it more unpleasant to have children, then society as a whole will have fewer children. And it turns out the consequences to a society of having fewer children in society really, REALLY suck.
Sometimes you sacrifice your own enjoyment to protect your society from really, REALLY sucking.
I'm pretty confident that there are many significant challenges to millennials having kids these days, the least of which is due to lack of being "welcomed into public spaces". While Jen's column was a little tongue in cheek, the actual issue is financial resources and affordable housing that are seriously out of control compared to 30 yrs ago when we late boomers were raising our children. Solve that first. Then we can discuss proper child discipline in public spaces.
I think this is more than a small annoyance. Sure, we could argue that eating at a restaurant is a privilege that not everyone can afford or do because of allergies, but this issue of society being less tolerant of children in public spaces is a big issue. I had it with neighbours in a common area in our townhouse complex. My kids and all the neighborhood kids (as there were a lot!) called that family the grumpy people because they would complain about kids playing soccer in the common grassy area, complain about laughter, and other silly things. I was the parent who still sent my kids outside rather than letting them play games all day - but this neighbour is definitely one who should’ve moved to an adult community.
Kids are learning how they fit in the world. I think we all are responsible for making the world a welcoming and safe place for them.
The covid years told kids they exist on sufferance from older adults. Many of the older adults decided they quite liked a world in which kids' interests were subordinated to theirs, and here we are.
I recall listening to a couple of older people in my condo complaining about the noise of the kids playing in the daycare yard behind our building. I hope they saw my eye-roll listening to them. I loved hearing the sound. :-)
When I’m in a restaurant or on a flight and I see parents with kids I feel like thanking them for their courage in investing in their and their country’s future - the same reason I thank any veteran I see for their service. Anyone who would glare at a family with kids is an idiot. I would pay for their kid's meal too if it weren’t considered insulting (in Canada at least).
A number of years ago I was on the beach at Hornby Island ( Jen will be familiar) and a young woman with a couple kids, probably 5 and 7 was obviously uncomfortable and apologetic that her kids were being NORMAL on a scarcely populated beach.
I later saw her at a dinner, wild coincidence, and told her not to apologize, her children were perfectly fine.
People who go to family restaurants should expect to find families there. Which usually means children, and all that goes with that.
When I go to a restaurant that offers adult dining, it's because I don't want to tip toe through a battlefield of wayward chicken nuggets and goldfish crackers nor listen to a toddler wailing that his carrots are touching the mashed potatoes and everything is now inedible.
The beauty of living in a democratic and capitalist country is that entrepreneurs are free to cater to any or all audiences.
It’s true that any restaurant can choose to exclude children, but there are consequences for society when that becomes the norm rather than the odd exception.
And it turns out those consequences really, REALLY suck.
Yes, and there's a quote by Cicero on that topic too, but I've also read that it's apocryphal.
Note that I made no claim about what kids were like when I was a kid, but my parents got a baby sitter when they wanted to go out, and until I was 12 or so (although my sister would only have been 3 then) we didn't eat out except when on the road and it was a lunch stop on one of the 1867 restaurants at a Hwy 401 service centre, or maybe the Sundial restaurant on Hwy 69 at Orillia (another institution, but sadly no longer with us).
On the other hand, behaving in church was a weekly expectation, and school was a daily one.
Yes, it likely is apocryphal... but that doesn't matter because if people have been attributing a quote to someone for centuries, we know the comment is old regardless of who made it.
and it is true... people have been saying "the kids today behave worse than before" for centuries, so I take all such claims with a large dose of skepticism. If the reason for this increase in "no kids allowed" is actually as you put it "children are so poorly behaved"... well compared to what? The past? We've been saying that for centuries.
Not to put too fine a point on it, but attributing a quote to a centuries dead person isn't the same as the attribution itself being centuries old. I don't happen to recall how old the attribution was discovered to be.
Compared to what? No, not the past, just compared to expectations, clearly.
Excluding children is no different than excluding Muslims (or non-Muslims, for that matter). If you are making the case for general freedom of association, go for it. Otherwise, stick with throwing out people (of any age or religion) when they misbehave.
What's worse is when you are in a family chain restaurant and your kids are well behaved but people still give you dirty looks which happened to me once...at a Moxies in the local mall at lunch time. I was with my mom, who I can assure you would not have tolerated poorly behaved kids, and she was shocked by the behaviour of the table glaring at us as if we had no right to be there!
I'm sure that changed quickly when they realized you were in control and not the kids! And secondly....Moxies? For kids? Perhaps yours have a more "adult palate" - lucky you!
Nope, it lasted the entire meal! My mom and I both felt perhaps Moxies in a mall was not the best choice for a business lunch for 2 obviously childless men!
Moxies used to the the quintessential family restaurant...the special ice cream volcano dessert for the kids which was a huge hit! They have since moved upscale...FYI my kids are all adults now!
My pet peeve is parents who let their kids roam around restaurants, and Im sure the wait staff hate it too, especially in crowded ones!
I am a grandfather - happily so - and we take our grandchildren (and sometimes their parents, too) out whenever we can. In our case our grandchildren are of an age where we just have to make sure that we have coloring books, etc. but we also took them when they were younger. Simply put, children have to learn how to behave in a public setting and that involves actually being in a public setting.
Oh, children sometimes misbehave. Unquestionably. Including my grandkids. But that is part of life. Nevertheless, it is up to we, the adults (including we old adults) to assist in socializing our youngest members of society. I have seen parents, including single parents driven to tears by a child misbehaving in spite of the attempts of the parents, but that is definitely part of life. I have, from time to time, approached a young family and tried to reassure them that their young'un was actually behaving normally and that we - the rest of us in the restaurant - we not at all upset. In other words, this is very much a part of life.
So, for those who don't want to see kids or have those kids "ruin" their time out, I can only say, "Tough!"
1. To what degree diverging parenting norms are making public parenting more difficult?
2. Church attendance has dropped. To what degree has that affected the practice children have with behaving in a prescribed way in a particular place regardless of what they want to do in the moment?
Haha. Your comment reminds me of the time a priest complimented me for (finally) being well behaved during mass. I had fallen asleep on that particular Sunday.
I agree that kids should not be banned, but there is a reason this does not happen in France. Kids are better behaved there, because French parents discipline their kids more strictly than Canadians do, just like French university profs mark a lot harder than Canadian profs.
Maybe I'm just super lucky, but we have taken our son everywhere with us since he was born (cafes, restaurants and other public spots) and he's alwasy been incredibly well-behaved.
Early on he would just fall asleep in our arms or his car seat and later would generally be pretty well behaved anywhere. Of course he has the occasional meltdown or desire to run around after sitting for a while, but by and large is pretty quiet and sometimes people even compliment him for his behaviour.
My point is: We've blissfully ignored "the rules" of where it may or may not be appropriate to bring kids with us and as a result we have a child that generally behaves well in most circumstances and is well accustomed to being in all kinds of strange and foreign places.
In 2.5 years, we have never, ever been denied service anywhere.
Why worry about what other's will think? Some people are going to get pissed off at you anyway.
Behaviour in a public place and respect for others are just two of the many values that parents should teach their children. Your rights as a family in a public restaurant cease when they interfere with my rights as a paying customer to enjoy my ( nowadays) very expensive meal.
I agree with Malcolm, I don't care if there are kids in a restaurant, I don't like the noise a misbehaving kid can bring inside. I also don't like loud obnoxious (drunk) men and women too so I'm not biased towards kids.
When we were young and our children were small, we took them to restaurants that accomdated families like East Side Mario's, and Pizza Hut etc that provided crayons and puzzles on the placemats. These places knew an entertained kid was a busy kid and was a quiet kid. As they got older, we were able to skip the busy placemats and exchange it for cloth napkins and glass stemware. Same thing on planes...busy, busy, busy.
So when I see a group of well liquored adults competing for the loudest voice in the restaurant I wish I had a bunch of crayons and some game filled placemats to donate so the rest of us can enjoy our meals in peace.
In places where there's a social expectation that children will be in restaurants and other public spaces, there's also a social expectation that parents will manage their children's behavior and deal with them appropriately to minimize the impact on other people. Shirking part of those reciprocal expectations is why there are so many spaces off limits to children.
The usual retort is "Well, MY children are well behaved!" OK, quite possibly true, but other people don't know that. It's also possible that you're oblivious to inappropriate behavior from your kids, which seems increasingly common in today's narcissistic age.
The other thing to consider is that the staff at a restaurant see a lot more families with kids than any of us are likely to encounter with our occasional visits to restaurants. The public probably doesn't see the worst behavior; the restaurant sees ALL of it. This really is a case where a handful of bad actors have spoiled it for everybody.
That's a matter of perspective, regarding what "inappropriate behaviour" means. And I read a few comments in this thread that reek of intolerance toward children.
Children are inherently messy and not obedient little robots. While I agree that it's up to the parents to raise respectful little humans, expecting children to sit down with their back straight and mouth shut for 1.5 hours, is just not realistic.
It's all a matter of balance. But also, people who don't have kids or grown-up ones need to chill the fuck out. In Canada there seems to be a culture of "guilty until proven innocent" towards children, where any child is automatically assumed to be Dennis the Menace. The only exception to this is with is other parents of young children.
Most aren't like Dennis. But also a minor annoying behaviour from a child who's mildly bored won't kill you. So I say to those child haters: pause, take a breath, and see the child's actions as the innocent behaviour that it most likely is. And more often than not, a friendly interaction with a child can defuse the situation instead of getting immediately angry.
I rarely encounter truly annoying children, but when I do an angry frown is often enough to get them to stop. No need to lose one's shit. The kid doesn't know better.
Where I see parents failing (and yes, I'm a parent) is usually pretty basic stuff: if your kid is having a meltdown, TAKE THEM SOMEWHERE ELSE TO DEAL WITH IT. Do NOT expose everybody else to a screaming, crying kid. It is NOT appropriate to engage in a long, draw-out negotiation with them while that disruption is bothering everybody else. Yes, your kid probably is going to get bored, particularly with a longer meal or event. It's up to YOU to entertain them.
Some cranks are intolerant of even a little bit of talking (and yes, children's voice tend to carry rather well because of their pitch and tone.) I've got a lot less patience for that nonsense. However, I have often seen bad parenting in the form of really disruptive behavior. Other people are also paying to enjoy their meal at that restaurant; other people can have an expectation that a wedding ceremony isn't marred by misbehaving kids; other people are stuck in that airplane for hours as well. And a lot of us are parents, and we can TELL when the parents of those other kids aren't doing their job.
I don't care if there are very young kids in a restaurant. The only thing I mind is when a small child is screaming, yelling and jumping up and down on the furniture - and the parents pretend nothing is happening. That tends to ruin dinner for everyone in the vicinity of that family. Otherwise, it's a good thing to bring kids to a restaurant - part of the exercise in teaching good manners.
What he said.
Last year, my partner and I were out for a very special anniversary dinner at a nice restaurant in Annecy, France. We were a bit shocked to be seated next to a young-ish couple with both a 3-year-old and a small dog. My first N. American reaction was a bit of an eye roll, like 'what are we in for?' However. The dog didn't bark, was better groomed that us, and was given a lovely water bowl by the waiter. The 3-year-old was quietly playing at his seat, while the parents ate and drank respectable amounts of alcohol. When the 3-year-old did start to fuss at about 9:30pm, his dad basically told him en français 'we're in a restaurant so behave'--and he mostly did. At that point, our sympathies were more with the kid! Like, isn't it bath and bedtime maybe, and it's totally legit he's fussy? But the whole experience was refreshing. Kids and dogs allowed, but the social understanding is that everyone knows how to behave so we can all enjoy ourselves.
And yeah, sometimes babies cry. I've been on planes or next to people in restaurants where my impulse was to volunteer my arms and entertainment skills for a while, so the parents can get a break. But that too seems to be frowned on in N. America.
I’ve heard about the dogs being allowed “loose” in the restaurants in Nice!
Not rocket science - this is a parenting issue, not a children issue. Everyone loves children, but disruptive children are a by product of poor parenting strategies. Yes, children will misbehave, babies will cry & scream in public places - everyone understands that. Parents without proper strategies to deal with these unfortunate events are the issue. Sometimes, it means a parent has to sacrifice their own enjoyment to protect others from having their experience ruined. Oh...wait a minute.....millennials are the ones having kids these days - say no more.
That's it - blanket-condemn a whole generation. Everyone's pointing their finger at one group or another. Might as well join the party.
Always been the case - nothing new. I'm a "boomer" and don't get offended when someone makes a negative blanket observation about boomers - sadly, they're usually correct. My kids are millennials, and they don't get offended either. They were properly parented. I guess I was too. LOL.
> Yes, children will misbehave, babies will cry & scream in public places - everyone understands that.
It is my experience that a great many people do NOT understand that.
> Sometimes, it means a parent has to sacrifice their own enjoyment to protect others from having their experience ruined.
That's a position you can take... but remember... when society makes it more unpleasant to have children, then society as a whole will have fewer children. And it turns out the consequences to a society of having fewer children in society really, REALLY suck.
Sometimes you sacrifice your own enjoyment to protect your society from really, REALLY sucking.
I'm pretty confident that there are many significant challenges to millennials having kids these days, the least of which is due to lack of being "welcomed into public spaces". While Jen's column was a little tongue in cheek, the actual issue is financial resources and affordable housing that are seriously out of control compared to 30 yrs ago when we late boomers were raising our children. Solve that first. Then we can discuss proper child discipline in public spaces.
I think this is more than a small annoyance. Sure, we could argue that eating at a restaurant is a privilege that not everyone can afford or do because of allergies, but this issue of society being less tolerant of children in public spaces is a big issue. I had it with neighbours in a common area in our townhouse complex. My kids and all the neighborhood kids (as there were a lot!) called that family the grumpy people because they would complain about kids playing soccer in the common grassy area, complain about laughter, and other silly things. I was the parent who still sent my kids outside rather than letting them play games all day - but this neighbour is definitely one who should’ve moved to an adult community.
Kids are learning how they fit in the world. I think we all are responsible for making the world a welcoming and safe place for them.
The covid years told kids they exist on sufferance from older adults. Many of the older adults decided they quite liked a world in which kids' interests were subordinated to theirs, and here we are.
I recall listening to a couple of older people in my condo complaining about the noise of the kids playing in the daycare yard behind our building. I hope they saw my eye-roll listening to them. I loved hearing the sound. :-)
When I’m in a restaurant or on a flight and I see parents with kids I feel like thanking them for their courage in investing in their and their country’s future - the same reason I thank any veteran I see for their service. Anyone who would glare at a family with kids is an idiot. I would pay for their kid's meal too if it weren’t considered insulting (in Canada at least).
A number of years ago I was on the beach at Hornby Island ( Jen will be familiar) and a young woman with a couple kids, probably 5 and 7 was obviously uncomfortable and apologetic that her kids were being NORMAL on a scarcely populated beach.
I later saw her at a dinner, wild coincidence, and told her not to apologize, her children were perfectly fine.
What a sad society we have become
People who go to family restaurants should expect to find families there. Which usually means children, and all that goes with that.
When I go to a restaurant that offers adult dining, it's because I don't want to tip toe through a battlefield of wayward chicken nuggets and goldfish crackers nor listen to a toddler wailing that his carrots are touching the mashed potatoes and everything is now inedible.
The beauty of living in a democratic and capitalist country is that entrepreneurs are free to cater to any or all audiences.
It’s true that any restaurant can choose to exclude children, but there are consequences for society when that becomes the norm rather than the odd exception.
And it turns out those consequences really, REALLY suck.
The consequences of it being the norm that children are so poorly behaved that some establishments feel compelled to excluded them are even worse.
I think we should all be a little skeptical of claims that when you and I were kids, children were always well behaved and did as they were told.
Yes, things can change over time, but I believe this complaint about children being poorly behaved compared to earlier goes back to Socrates.
Yes, and there's a quote by Cicero on that topic too, but I've also read that it's apocryphal.
Note that I made no claim about what kids were like when I was a kid, but my parents got a baby sitter when they wanted to go out, and until I was 12 or so (although my sister would only have been 3 then) we didn't eat out except when on the road and it was a lunch stop on one of the 1867 restaurants at a Hwy 401 service centre, or maybe the Sundial restaurant on Hwy 69 at Orillia (another institution, but sadly no longer with us).
On the other hand, behaving in church was a weekly expectation, and school was a daily one.
Yes, it likely is apocryphal... but that doesn't matter because if people have been attributing a quote to someone for centuries, we know the comment is old regardless of who made it.
and it is true... people have been saying "the kids today behave worse than before" for centuries, so I take all such claims with a large dose of skepticism. If the reason for this increase in "no kids allowed" is actually as you put it "children are so poorly behaved"... well compared to what? The past? We've been saying that for centuries.
Not to put too fine a point on it, but attributing a quote to a centuries dead person isn't the same as the attribution itself being centuries old. I don't happen to recall how old the attribution was discovered to be.
Compared to what? No, not the past, just compared to expectations, clearly.
Fair point.
Excluding children is no different than excluding Muslims (or non-Muslims, for that matter). If you are making the case for general freedom of association, go for it. Otherwise, stick with throwing out people (of any age or religion) when they misbehave.
What's worse is when you are in a family chain restaurant and your kids are well behaved but people still give you dirty looks which happened to me once...at a Moxies in the local mall at lunch time. I was with my mom, who I can assure you would not have tolerated poorly behaved kids, and she was shocked by the behaviour of the table glaring at us as if we had no right to be there!
I'm sure that changed quickly when they realized you were in control and not the kids! And secondly....Moxies? For kids? Perhaps yours have a more "adult palate" - lucky you!
Nope, it lasted the entire meal! My mom and I both felt perhaps Moxies in a mall was not the best choice for a business lunch for 2 obviously childless men!
And places like Moxies and The Keg are already loud enough with music and people talking over the music! Not the epitome of “fine dining”!
Moxies used to the the quintessential family restaurant...the special ice cream volcano dessert for the kids which was a huge hit! They have since moved upscale...FYI my kids are all adults now!
My pet peeve is parents who let their kids roam around restaurants, and Im sure the wait staff hate it too, especially in crowded ones!
Well said, Mitch!
I am a grandfather - happily so - and we take our grandchildren (and sometimes their parents, too) out whenever we can. In our case our grandchildren are of an age where we just have to make sure that we have coloring books, etc. but we also took them when they were younger. Simply put, children have to learn how to behave in a public setting and that involves actually being in a public setting.
Oh, children sometimes misbehave. Unquestionably. Including my grandkids. But that is part of life. Nevertheless, it is up to we, the adults (including we old adults) to assist in socializing our youngest members of society. I have seen parents, including single parents driven to tears by a child misbehaving in spite of the attempts of the parents, but that is definitely part of life. I have, from time to time, approached a young family and tried to reassure them that their young'un was actually behaving normally and that we - the rest of us in the restaurant - we not at all upset. In other words, this is very much a part of life.
So, for those who don't want to see kids or have those kids "ruin" their time out, I can only say, "Tough!"
I have two thoughts.
1. To what degree diverging parenting norms are making public parenting more difficult?
2. Church attendance has dropped. To what degree has that affected the practice children have with behaving in a prescribed way in a particular place regardless of what they want to do in the moment?
Haha. Your comment reminds me of the time a priest complimented me for (finally) being well behaved during mass. I had fallen asleep on that particular Sunday.
I agree that kids should not be banned, but there is a reason this does not happen in France. Kids are better behaved there, because French parents discipline their kids more strictly than Canadians do, just like French university profs mark a lot harder than Canadian profs.
Maybe that's why I butt heads with my wife all the time for being too strict a disciplinarian (I'm French and she's not).
Yepp. And hundred cheers for all children.
Maybe I'm just super lucky, but we have taken our son everywhere with us since he was born (cafes, restaurants and other public spots) and he's alwasy been incredibly well-behaved.
Early on he would just fall asleep in our arms or his car seat and later would generally be pretty well behaved anywhere. Of course he has the occasional meltdown or desire to run around after sitting for a while, but by and large is pretty quiet and sometimes people even compliment him for his behaviour.
My point is: We've blissfully ignored "the rules" of where it may or may not be appropriate to bring kids with us and as a result we have a child that generally behaves well in most circumstances and is well accustomed to being in all kinds of strange and foreign places.
In 2.5 years, we have never, ever been denied service anywhere.
Why worry about what other's will think? Some people are going to get pissed off at you anyway.
Behaviour in a public place and respect for others are just two of the many values that parents should teach their children. Your rights as a family in a public restaurant cease when they interfere with my rights as a paying customer to enjoy my ( nowadays) very expensive meal.
I agree with Malcolm, I don't care if there are kids in a restaurant, I don't like the noise a misbehaving kid can bring inside. I also don't like loud obnoxious (drunk) men and women too so I'm not biased towards kids.
When we were young and our children were small, we took them to restaurants that accomdated families like East Side Mario's, and Pizza Hut etc that provided crayons and puzzles on the placemats. These places knew an entertained kid was a busy kid and was a quiet kid. As they got older, we were able to skip the busy placemats and exchange it for cloth napkins and glass stemware. Same thing on planes...busy, busy, busy.
So when I see a group of well liquored adults competing for the loudest voice in the restaurant I wish I had a bunch of crayons and some game filled placemats to donate so the rest of us can enjoy our meals in peace.
In places where there's a social expectation that children will be in restaurants and other public spaces, there's also a social expectation that parents will manage their children's behavior and deal with them appropriately to minimize the impact on other people. Shirking part of those reciprocal expectations is why there are so many spaces off limits to children.
The usual retort is "Well, MY children are well behaved!" OK, quite possibly true, but other people don't know that. It's also possible that you're oblivious to inappropriate behavior from your kids, which seems increasingly common in today's narcissistic age.
The other thing to consider is that the staff at a restaurant see a lot more families with kids than any of us are likely to encounter with our occasional visits to restaurants. The public probably doesn't see the worst behavior; the restaurant sees ALL of it. This really is a case where a handful of bad actors have spoiled it for everybody.
That's a matter of perspective, regarding what "inappropriate behaviour" means. And I read a few comments in this thread that reek of intolerance toward children.
Children are inherently messy and not obedient little robots. While I agree that it's up to the parents to raise respectful little humans, expecting children to sit down with their back straight and mouth shut for 1.5 hours, is just not realistic.
It's all a matter of balance. But also, people who don't have kids or grown-up ones need to chill the fuck out. In Canada there seems to be a culture of "guilty until proven innocent" towards children, where any child is automatically assumed to be Dennis the Menace. The only exception to this is with is other parents of young children.
Most aren't like Dennis. But also a minor annoying behaviour from a child who's mildly bored won't kill you. So I say to those child haters: pause, take a breath, and see the child's actions as the innocent behaviour that it most likely is. And more often than not, a friendly interaction with a child can defuse the situation instead of getting immediately angry.
I rarely encounter truly annoying children, but when I do an angry frown is often enough to get them to stop. No need to lose one's shit. The kid doesn't know better.
It's all about good judgment and moderation.
Where I see parents failing (and yes, I'm a parent) is usually pretty basic stuff: if your kid is having a meltdown, TAKE THEM SOMEWHERE ELSE TO DEAL WITH IT. Do NOT expose everybody else to a screaming, crying kid. It is NOT appropriate to engage in a long, draw-out negotiation with them while that disruption is bothering everybody else. Yes, your kid probably is going to get bored, particularly with a longer meal or event. It's up to YOU to entertain them.
Some cranks are intolerant of even a little bit of talking (and yes, children's voice tend to carry rather well because of their pitch and tone.) I've got a lot less patience for that nonsense. However, I have often seen bad parenting in the form of really disruptive behavior. Other people are also paying to enjoy their meal at that restaurant; other people can have an expectation that a wedding ceremony isn't marred by misbehaving kids; other people are stuck in that airplane for hours as well. And a lot of us are parents, and we can TELL when the parents of those other kids aren't doing their job.